So, I am sitting here in my room. I am reading blogs and I notice that many peoples stories will never be told, how many people are out there that have a blog and yet have never had some one look at it? Someone to read their stories, someone to not judge them but just to listen. You see for some, it is an art form to write. A way of expressing and while it might be one of the most forward ways of expressing that art it is still a form of expression.
Sometime we write things down because maybe that what we have to do to figure them out. Other times I see that the only reason we say things are because we have no one else to talk to, but we pray that someone may find us. That someone might stop and take a look and read our story. Actually to say the truth its not just someone, it is the right person, whether it may be yourself 20 years from now, or a friend, a parent, a sister, or brother, your children, or maybe like in my case that one girl. You know the one, she is the one that no matter what you do, you never seem to get her out of your mind. She is what you dream about at night and want to see first thing in the morning. She is the reason soldiers go to war, they write to her every night in the hopes to see her again. She is not just someone that is easily forgot or dismissed by the end of the night, she is their muse, their inspiration the one thing they look forward too as the trip comes closer every day to an end.
So What happens to those soldiers that never make it back, those soldiers that loose their life as they return, those whose lost their muse, the ones that inspired them to go on in at the hardest of times. With the only though that there not making a world better for a nation or for them, but instead are making it better for their children, their brother and sisters, their parents, even their friends, and most of all their Helen.
I can tell you I think of her every night, that I hope she is safe, that this world you want to protect her from, that is so bad, is not cruel enough to take her away. She is the reason I want to change even when she is gone. And she is the one I want to make believe in true love. I want her to see that when you do love someone that is far away, that absence does make the heart grow founder, whether you can live with out them or not. That we all have our part to play but those without love, without passion, those that do not see that these are the strongest things in the world. Are those who end alone and miserable and for some live their greatest fear no matter their success, "emptiness".
What is sad is that they were not born this way. They did not come into this world knowing not to trust humanity. They instead were pushed, they were hurt, they became ruthless, and without mercy. I am not saying this is bad, I am not saying this about my girl, or about you. But we all know someone like this, They hate what life has done to them and in turn have decided there will not be any second chances, for where were their second chances. But we must all understand that we are all human and we all fail at some point. It is how we dust off and get back to our feet that count, How we keep going, whether or not we listen to that voice that says quit, or we can keep going and we pick up others along the way that want to go on and are not sure how, and we make sure they do not quit. We are all supposed to be here for each other. Yet war, famine, and hunger still exist in this world.
Truth is I might not know for sure, I might just have some infatuation with this girl and even though it may be they case she has inspire me to write, write more then I ever have, she inspires me to come back home, and to finish this war, and let peace come to those want it, just like I have it with her. Truth is most people would call me crazy, I never have even been in front of this girl face to face, I have never touched her hand, or kissed her lips, I have never caresses her gentle body. I still long for the days that I can sit down and watch sports TV with her, the day I can take her snowboarding and she can take me diving. I hope and pray for the day she can forgive me and I can make right my wrongs. I long for the Day that I can take back any harm or sorrow, any sadness or grief I did to her and hope that I can truly give her what she wants, love.
That's why I write, that's why you read this, its not for my pure pleasure as it does not only help my breath out, but it is in hope that one day she might find this. That one day she might understand the way I hope you understand that me hurting her was not what I wanted, that she is my night, she is my day. She is all that encourages me. That her happiness is my one goal and as I hope it is through me, I will always ensure her happiness even without myself in that picture.
You may not believe me and maybe she does not either, but I love her.
I only hope she love back.
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